everyone saw my cuts today I’m so embarrassed (ﾉ°益°）ﾉ ┻━┻
Rampant Rambling I'm Malina and you're offensive.
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[Tw: rape] It is obvious that the two offenders saw the victim as some one that could be treated as a thing. This is not about sex, it is about power and control. I guess that is what I am getting at. Sex was probably not the hardest thing for the two to get, so that wasn’t the objective. When you hear the jokes being made during the crime, it is the purest contempt.
So, how do you fix that? I’m just shooting rubber bands at the night sky but here are a few ideas: Put women’s studies in high school the curriculum from war heroes to politicians, writers, speakers, activists, revolutionaries and let young people understand that women have been kicking ass in high threat conditions for ages and they are worthy of respect.
Total sex ed in school. Learn how it all works. Learn what the definition of statutory rape is and that it is rape, that date rape is rape, that rape is rape.
”- Henry Rollins on the Steubenville rape case
“
Several women told the Investigative Fund that after being sexually assaulted they had been denied care or ruled ineligible for health insurance because of what were deemed pre-existing conditions stemming from their assaults — particularly post traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD.
A 38-year-old woman in Ithaca, N.Y., said she was raped last year and then penalized by insurers because in giving her medical history she mentioned an assault she suffered in college 17 years earlier. The woman, Kimberly Fallon, told a nurse about the previous attack and months later, her doctor’s office sent her a bill for treatment. She said she was informed by a nurse and, later, the hospital’s billing department that her health insurance company, Blue Cross Blue Shield, not only had declined payment for the rape exam, but also would not pay for therapy or medication for trauma because she ‘had been raped before.’
”- (x)
I am trying really really hard not to cut myself right now.
I feel like the biggest fucking asshole crying over my college applications when parents lost their children today.
“It’s not healthy to cut yourself.”
OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS!? I did not know that I’ll stop RIGHT NOW oh my thank you SO MUCH for telling me.
Thoughts on popular perception of depression
Honestly I think a lot of the reason why there’s such a stigma about mental illness, and depression in particular, is the goddamn commercials for anti-depressants. Like, they’re always soft, melancholy music and calm voiceovers with clips of people forlornly looking out windows and staring in the mirror. And then the sky opens up and the white lady smiles and GOD BLESS PFITZER YOU’VE CURED DEPRESSION.
When people who don’t know depression watch that, it implants this image that depression is easy; it’s all in your head and you can take a pill and it will go away. In reality, depression is fucking miserable. It’s this overarching, gnawing feeling of emptiness that won’t leave, and you have to devote so much of yourself, so much of your energy, to things most people do without thinking: eating, getting up, getting through the day. And maybe you take medication, and maybe it helps, but you still have to work really fucking hard to even function when you have depression, and I guess pharmaceutical companies don’t want to put that in their commercials because it’s too, I don’t know, depressing.
Wow suicide awareness day makes me want to cut myself A+ job teenaged assholes of the world.
![[This is about Slutwalk, so trigger warning for rape]
So I said I’d blog about Slutwalk SF Bay, and now I am! It was an amazing experience, and if a city near you is holding one, they could really use your support. There were probably around 500 people marching, I’d guess, and they were such diverse human beings.
I got there around 10:30, since we stopped for coffee on our walk from the bart station. The coffee shop was also a video store, but my chai latte was super cheap and tasty. Aw yeah. They had these adorable rewards cards with animals drinking coffee on them (mine has a bunny). I’m looking forward to free drink #13!
The event was pretty quiet in the morning. I browsed the booths and talked to some really fascinating people. I bought a pin, and discovered Whore Magazine, which had this big article on Victoria Claflin Woodhull, a.k.a. my idol. I didn’t know if I could buy it and I was too awkward to ask, otherwise I’d definitely be flailing over it. The magazine was really cool though, and I wish I knew where I could buy it because it had pieces on self-defense, feminism, badass women, and vintage pin up. It also looked like it would cost a trillion dollars, though, so it’s probably best that I didn’t ask.
The speakers they brought in were incredible and truly passionate people. The MC of the event was really good at energizing the crowd with her passion and I honestly don’t know how to describe it, but she was, and is, an amazing woman. The first speaker, Dr. Carol Queen, talked about the importance of positive sex-education and cultivating good sexual experiences (if and when an individual wants to have sex). She was this middle-aged white lady wearing a shirt that said “I E> female orgasm” and she was the bossest bitch. The other of my two favorite speakers was a speaker from WORD (Women Organized to Resist and Defend), whose name, unfortunately, I don’t remember. She brought her kid up with her, and even though babies make me uncomfortable, I was really moved by what she said. She talked about a female judge in Arizona who said that women shouldn’t go to grocery stores after 10PM to avoid sexual violence. Which is such crap, because she as a judge and a woman should know better than to suggest that the responsibility to prevent rape rests on the victim and not on the perpetrator. Because it is so disgusting and lazy as a society to crack down on women’s “dangerous behaviors” rather than prosecute rapists and educate youth on sex to end rape. The point being, she is my role model. There was also a prostitute and sex workers advocate (so unlike what I was expecting. She was kind of a demure-looking middle-aged white woman), who really educated me on Prop 35 and how rape uniquely affects sex workers. Throughout the event, I encountered so many people — speakers, attendees, and passersby — who told me they were rape victims. And it was so disorienting to me as someone who’s never been the victim of violence, sexual or otherwise, that all these people you may pass by on the street could carry such darkness with them, and it really just strengthened my resolve to fight against victim-blaming, slut-shaming, and the legal system’s laziness in prosecuting rapists; any of those people could have just as easily have been me.
The march itself was pretty short. Honestly, it was probably a block, but aside from some ridiculously complex chants that I just could not master, it was so touching. Although at one point, my friends and I were walking next to a handsome young man when my friend oh-so-casually said that she would like to have consensual sex with him and his girlfriend totally heard her. Yoko wins A+ award for completely missing the point throughout the entire event.
At the end of the march, there was an open mic where people could come up and say whatever. It was harder to hear the speakers here, and a lot of them kind of rambled, so it wasn’t as moving for me. Not to mention we kept having to split up and regroup because Muni trains went right through the center of the crowd. This one man was completely naked, which I’m not going to lie, made me uncomfortable. It’s slutwalk, so I was completely expecting to see scantily clad people, but I think being completely naked is a different thing. I have no qualms with nudity, but we were at the intersection of two big streets, and there were children around. I don’t really know what he was going for, but I just felt it was inappropriate, especially considering the event was getting help from and cooperating with the police. Maybe I’m wrong about this though; it just felt strange to me.
I did go up and say something about what somebody in my gov class said on Friday about women who walk down the street late at night being partially responsible for what happens to them. Except I was super nervous the whole time, and I’m positive I sounded absolutely stupid. There was really no point to what I was saying besides I thought it was disgusting that somebody as young as I am has already been exposed to these misogynistic concepts.
Overall, though, it was a really empowering experience and I feel really blessed to have gotten the opportunity to be a part of this protest. Going again next year if circumstances will permit.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ma43y9z5r91qdi0iio1_500.jpg)
Reblog if you’d date a boy/girl with scars.
well somebody had better because I’m pretty much covered in self-harm scars. I’m disgusting.
